Physically Divorce vs. Mentally Divorce

This is a 40 years old woman, who was married to her first husband, and they were together for 10 years but divorced now. She has been suffering from bipolar depression due to the divorce & miscarriage. She is been married to her second husband for 5 years. During her 5 years of marriage life, she encountered miscarriage 5 times. As a woman, she has gone through the greatest pain in this repeatable miscarriage. As a result of that, she has phobia to get pregnant again. After her divorce, the brokenness/failure of her first marriage has been carried forward to her present marriage life. Besides that, she has been suffering from the pain of miscarriage, which totally burnt her in daily life. She has a very stressful life and affected her career. 

In the event, even though she has been officially divorced by signing on a divorce legal paper with the first husband after 5 years, she is still stuck in her first marriage, as she is not mentally divorce her first husband. She can’t let go the pain that she has endured, and still attach with the anger and regret of the first marriage. She still has the anger and hatred towards her first husband, which has a negative impact on the present husband/marriage. She has become very suspicious, paranoid and insecure towards her present marriage and is under the impression that only by having a child would help to strengthen her present marriage. She has become very superstitious and has started idol worship in order to have a successful pregnancy. The failure of her first marriage has indeed corrupted her whole life, and her health condition was deteriorated as well due to the stress she is facing. She must let go the mental attachment with her first husband and understand the different family dynamics she has with her present husband.

TREATMENT PLAN FOR CLIENT

My treatment plan will work on her based on: -

• Family Therapy
• Family Reconstruction
• Forgiveness

Family Therapy

- Family therapy is based on the belief that family is a unique social system with its own structure & patterns of communication.

- The family therapists who use the family system model in CARING for people always consider the whole family. During therapy session, the family’s strengths are used to help their problem.

Family Reconstruction

- Family Reconstruction is one of the power tools that are used to connect in new ways with our own families.

- One of the major tools is to make changes in a dysfunctional family system. New eyes see old situations in a new framework, especially in relation to our ‘SELF’ level.

- Family reconstruction helps the body, mind & emotion move beyond stress, survival & coping to a more positive way of expressing and experiencing life.

 

Forgiveness

- Forgiveness is an internal process, which is letting go of the intense emotional attachment to the past incidents.

- Forgiveness is a feeling of wellness, freedom and acceptance.

In conclusion, a divorce is not only an action that requires a signature on the legal paper, but you must ensure that you are physically and mentally well prepared before going through a divorce. If we can’t detach from our past failure, it will become a psychological scar for our entire life. It is important to heal and work on the scar, and learn from our past mistakes. From there, we must learn how to transfer the negative energy into positive energy, and add on to our life experience.  Otherwise, it might be a nightmare for lifetime. The impact will carry on to the future marriage or love life.

                                     ~ Expression of Love ~

Epilepsy

Epilepsy is a common chronic neurological disorder characterized by seizures. In epilepsy, the normal pattern of neuronal activity becomes disturbed, causing strange sensations, emotions, and behavior, or sometimes convulsions, muscle spasms, and loss of consciousness.

Symptoms

The symptoms of epilepsy vary. They depend on how much of the brain is affected, and where the affected area is located. Some of the main symptoms are as follows:-

• repeated seizures
• cognitive slowing
• the muscles in your arms, legs and face may become stiff
• Nausea
• Emotional symptoms, such as unexplained fear or rage
• Repetitive movements of the hand

Case Study


Learning Disorder caused by Epilepsy

A 10 years old girl has been suffering from Epilepsy since her childhood. Her sickness will attack her in a cycle every 7 days, which normally happened early in the morning.

This attack will normally lead to dizziness and muscle spasms on the following day, which affected her cognitive and lead to learning disorder. In the long run her sickness has led her to be a bad tempered, irritable and restless child. She resists people touching her, as she always has the pain in her after being attacked by Epilepsy.

Her academic performance in school was being affected by epilepsy as well. She is weak in her Mathematics subject, and her language development was affected as well. She is not able to construct a proper sentence or to compose a composition in English. She is unable to take instruction at home and in school, and does not know how to take care of herself, although she is 10 years old. She has the eager to learn, but there has been a blockage to her eagerness of learning due to the uncertain attack of epilepsy.

Therefore, child with special needs has to go through the special education and self care system in order for them to have a better learning environment, as they need extra attention, care and patience from the teachers and parents during their learning and growth process.

TALKS - FAMILY DYNAMICS & FAMILY RECONSTRUCTION

     This photo was taken by Chriss during her study trip to Canada.....sunset....



What is Selective Mutism???

Selective mutism is a psychological disorder in children or adult. With this disorder they are fully capable in speech or understanding but can fail to speak / reluctant /withdrawn in certain social situation, and unable to participate in group activities due to their extreme anxiety.

Signs and Symptoms:-

·  Consistently unable to speak when it comes to certain social situations, such as school. This can lead to both social isolation and withdrawal

·  Has difficulty in maintaining eye contact

·  Reluctant to smile; blank face expressions

·  Body movements are always stiff and awkward

·  Extraordinarily sensitive to noise, crowds and crowded situation

·  Have difficulty with both verbal and non-verbal expression

·  Oftentimes have frequent temper tantrums at home

·  Excessively shy; have a fear of people

·  Clinging behavior

·  May also have an anxiety disorder, such as social phobia

Causes: -

·  Some children with selective mutism may have Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID), which causes the child to have trouble processing some sensory information. This would cause anxiety, which may cause the child to "shut down" and not be able to speak.

·  Some children with selective mutism have speech or language disorders that add stress to situations in which the child is expected to speak. The stress caused by their language difficulties cause them to become anxious enough about speaking to become mute

·  Abuse, neglect, or trauma can caused children suffered from selective mutism. 

Treatments:-

The treatment of Selective Mutism requires a “WHOLE APPROACH” incorporating social, educational, psychological and at times psychiatric interventions. It is important to be creative, have patience, understanding and be flexible in all your interventions. Therefore, an open mind and holistic approach are of utmost importance.

·      THERAPEUTIC INTERVENTIONS

-   For young children, a play therapy approach is recommended. (Eg: Games, pretend situations, and coloring materials)

-   Allow the child to take the lead. Do not force interaction or participation

-   Music and art are wonderful tools for promoting interaction and communication

-   Be creative. Use telephones, microphones, screens, puppets to allow the child a means of communication through projective approaches

-   Teach the child relaxation, breathing and positive imagery techniques to help with anxiety.

-   A change of environment (such as changing schools) may make a difference

·      SCHOOL  INTERVENTIONS

-   Keep the child in regular mainstream classes

-   Do not force the child to speak

-   Allow the child to have a buddy system and participate in small group activities

-   Allow the child to communicate in another way (for example by symbols, gestures, cards, email)

-   Provide plenty of praise for any sound or attempt at communication the child makes

·      HOME  INTERVENTIONS

-   Provide a safe and loving environment for the child.

-   Accept the child for who they are.

-   Do not use threats or punishments to get the child to talk.

-   Be understanding and provide a secure environment for the child.

-   Foster self-esteem and empowerment.

-   Provide the child with plenty of opportunities to explore extra-curricular activities, such as swimming, gymnastics, art, theater or dance.

-   Provide opportunities for after-school play-dates. Invite a peer that the child likes to the home, allow them free time to play and interact

-   Provide plenty of praise and social rewards for communication.

SELECTIVE MUTISM VS AUTISM

Selective Mutism is sometimes erroneously mistaken for Autism. The striking difference between the two is that Autistic individuals have limited language ability, while individuals experiencing Selective Mutism are capable of speaking and normally do so in comfortable situations.

In short, the main difference between Selective Mutism and Autism is that the selectively mute child can communicate normally where in a situation which they feel comfortable and secured.

       This photo was taken by Chriss during her study trip to New Zealand.




Psychological Scars(Selective Mutism) in Childhood Caused by Dysfunction Family and Divorce 

A true case study:

This is a true story of a 10 year old boy. His parents have undergone a divorce when he was only 3 month old. After that, he was being raised up by his father alone, while the mother left for work  overseas.  

He has been suffering from attachment disorder in the process of growing up. The presence of a mother is very crucial in our childhood, especially for children aged between the ranges of 0-6 years old. It has been proven that there is a strong bond between a mother and child since pregnancy, and this intimacy is irreplaceable by anyone else. Therefore due to the absence of the mother during childhood, this little boy has turned out to be lack of sense of security, and sense of belonging.

At the age of 7, he has a dramatically change in life. The mother actually came back, and took him away from the father. Ever since the great changes in life, lately he has been diagnosed with Selective Mutism. Selective Mutism is a form of communication disorder in which a person, most often a child, who is normally capable of speech is unable to speak in given situations, or to specific people. Besides that, it can also be the consequences of attention seeking, due to the lack of love and attention.

Now that he has turned into 10 years old, and his condition has deteriorated into totally muteness. We can see the tragedy impact on a child caused by a broken marriage. Therefore, we should live our live with a compassionate heart, and be conscious of every single decision made by us as a parent, as we might caused our loves one to be a victim due to the mistake we have made.

AN AMBIDEXTROUS

MASTER PIECE BY AN AMBIDEXTROUS

AMBIDEXTROUS IS ABLE TO USED BOTH HANDS WITH EQUAL FACILITY

NOTE : The above creative expression was created with both hands simultaneously.

- For example : An ambidextrous is able to play badminton with both hands easily.

SANDTRAY THERAPY

This creative artwork was created in the box of sand and figurines in order to help clients to
explore in self discovery.

By using this tool (sandtray) as a mediator in this session, therapist used both skills in non-verbal therapy (sandtray) and verbal therapy (process question) to help the clients to explore further.

PLAY THERAPY

PLAY THERAPY - DISCOVERED CLIENT'S LEARNING DISORDER IN PLAY THERAPY IN THIS SESSION

This creative artwork was created by client using recycle paper and recycle boxes

WHAT IS CHILD DEVELOPMENT MILESTONE?

Child Development Milestone
儿童发展里程碑

• Child development milestone is very
  important & knowing the phases of your child’s
  development is important.
  儿童的发展里程碑非常重要,了解您孩子
  的发展阶段是很要紧的.

• If there is a delay occur in child development
  milestone, there is a need for further evaluation
  by parents & early intervention should be
  taken.             
  如果在儿童发展里程碑当中有延迟发生,家
 长有需要进一步的评估及采取早期干预.


The particular areas in which children develop skills have been divided in 5 distinct categories
儿童发展技能被分为5个不同组别 :-

1. Cognitive development 认知发展 -
    eg. Skills in Problem solving.
    解决问题的技巧.

2. Social & emotional development
    社交及情绪发展 –
    develop the appropriate skills in interacting with
    others
    发展与人适当相处的技能.

3. Speech & Language development
    演说和语言的发展 –
    Comprehending language as well as the ability to
    use it in order to communicate to convey his
    feelings
    理解语言，并能够使用它来沟通，传达他的
    感受.

4. Fine Motor skill Development
    精细动作技能发展 –
    make use of his muscles in order to perform
    delicate tasks eg. Turning pages of book or
    picking up objects with his hand.
    利用他的肌肉，以便执行细务, 例如翻书或
    用手拾起物件.

5. Gross Motor Skill Development
    粗大动作技能发展 –
    to utilize large muscles in the body to accomplish
    basic tasks eg. Sitting, standing & walking
    利用身体的大块肌肉在完成基本任务例如:
    坐,站立和行走